A Chicago Wedding Photographer’s Guide to Nontraditional Wedding Traditions

Maybe you love the idea of a first dance but want absolutely nothing to do with a bouquet toss. Maybe you want your people involved, but a huge wedding party feels like your personal nightmare. Or maybe you keep adding things to your timeline because you’re sitting there thinking, “Well, that’s just what you do at a wedding.” Okay, loves. Here’s your reminder: you do NOT have to build your day around wedding traditions you’re dreading.

As a Chicago wedding photographer who loves celebrations that feel vibrant, creative, emotional, and completely expressive, I see couples make wedding traditions their own alllll the time!! Some keep the meaningful parts, some completely reinvent them, and others throw them out and never look back. Let’s talk about the wedding traditions you can keep, skip, or rework for your nontraditional wedding in 2027 that feels a little funky and totally like you. 

Should You Include Wedding Traditions At All?

Some people love wedding traditions, some people hate them, and some people are only doing them because they feel like they have to. 

I’m not saying to reject every single wedding tradition just to prove your wedding is different. I’m saying to include the ones that feel right to you without forcing it to. Any that make you say, “Oh, yeah, that feels like us,” is one to keep in there. If a tradition makes you emotional, connects you to your family, honors your culture, or simply sounds fun… That’s the stuff. If you’re only doing it because someone told you weddings are supposed to work that way, though, this is your sign to reconsider.

How to Pick the Wedding Traditions That Feel Like You (And Skip the Rest)

When my couples want to go a more nontraditional route for their wedding but feel a little caught up in doing what they think they “should” do, these are the two things I tell them to focus on: what feels natural, and what actually represents them. 

Before you remove something from the timeline, ask yourselves whether you dislike the tradition itself or just dislike the way it’s usually done. You may not want a five-minute first dance with everyone staring (and I totally feel you), but you might love thirty seconds of your favorite song before inviting everyone onto the floor. That still counts. There are no wedding police hiding behind the DJ booth.

Here are a few questions that I always tell my nontraditional wedding couples to consider when they’re in this part of planning: 

• Would we still choose this if nobody else expected it?
• Does this tradition connect us to our family, culture, or faith?
• Are we excited about it or already dreading it?
• Does it support the way we want the day to feel?
• Will it interrupt a part of the day we care about more?
• Can we change it instead of completely removing it?
• Are we keeping it because it photographs well, or because it means something?

Wedding Traditions to Keep, Skip, or Reinvent

If you’re reading this and sitting there thinking, “Wait… I don’t have to do those things?!!” You’re in the right spot. And if you’re wondering what that even looks like, here are some of the things that I’m seeing couples skip all the time now: 

Garter Tosses

If the thought of doing this in front of your grandparents makes your soul leave your body (which is so valid), you can remove it from the timeline, no replacement required.

If you’re cringed out by it, skip it. If it’s something that you find super fun, keep it. You can also make it your own by making it a funny, iconic moment. Maybe you swap and do it in the role people would least expect, or maybe you somehow incorporate it into being at the same time as a bouquet toss. 

Bouquet Tosses

Maybe you’d rather just keep the party going than halt it, or maybe you just don’t feel connected to this moment. If that’s you, skip the bouquet toss, keep your flowers. If you love it, or maybe, like, have a little niece who’s dying to catch it, do it!! 

You can totally rework something like this by doing something like a t-shirt toss instead, and trust me… People LOVE it. 

Wedding Parties

Some couples are skipping formal sides altogether so their closest people can simply show up, wear something they feel good in, and enjoy the day without a job description. And I totally get it. 

Choosing a few people to stand up beside you might make you feel a lot of pressure and a lot of tension, and if that’s the case, definitely don’t have a bridal party. If you have your group of people, though, and you want them to be by your side all day long, I love it. Ask ‘em!! 

Some alternatives to this can be having just one or two people by your side, or having a wedding party, but having them sit in the front row instead of standing beside you. 

First Dances

Some people aren’t into the center-of-attention vibes, and I totally get it. 

Skip it if being alone in the center of the room sounds less romantic and more like a public-speaking assignment with choreography.

Keep it if a certain song means something to you and you want a quiet moment together before the dance floor opens. 

Make it your own by keeping it to like, thirty seconds max, invite guests to join halfway through, do it privately before the reception begins, or have it privately during cocktail hour. 

Cake Cuttings

Listen… Some people hate cake. If that’s you, why in the world should you have to cut a cake in front of everyone just for the sake of tradition?! 

If you love cake, though, you’ll probably want to keep this one. And I totally get that. 

You can switch it out for a dessert table, a small, private cake cutting, or something interactive like ice cream bars or tiramisu towers (which, obviously, I’m obsessed with). 

Wearing White

Rules?? We don’t know them. And wearing white is one of the things you can absolutely cut out if you hate how white looks on you or you just want something a little more unique. If you’re the type of person that’s been dreaming about their big, white, ballgown wedding dress since they were little, though, keep this one!! Make it special to you. 

If you’re looking for something totally colorful, you can go for something blush like A Love Supreme by Hayley Paige. If you want something white, but with pops of color, something embroidered (like Esme by Flora and Lane) always looks SO good. 

Wearing a Veil

On the topic of bridal style, people are opting out of wearing veils and going for things like headpieces or scarves instead. Self-expressive fashion is always the move. 

Love a dramatic veil look? Love that. Want to go for something more modern and less traditional? YESSS. Wear what feels like you, loves!! 

Couples Not Seeing Each Other the Morning of the Wedding

Couples who keep this one love the element of surprise and want that big, classic first look moment. And I can’t blame you, it’s always SO adorable. Some people, though, want to be with their lovers every second of every day, so I’m seeing people do that all the time. 

If you want something in the middle, have breakfast together, separate to get ready, and then have your big reveal.

Wedding Tradition Replacements

Okay, there’s a certain type of person here that probably falls into the category of wanting a super unique, funky wedding, but also wants a little bit of structure. Luckily for you, there are a ton of 2027 wedding trends that fit this kind of day SO well. Here’s my list of things to consider that kind of align with common wedding traditions, but are done in a more unique, modern way: 

If You Skip the Wedding Party…

• Get ready with your friends without assigning formal roles
• Invite your closest people to wear a shared color palette
• Ask different loved ones to participate in the ceremony
• Take group photos with your favorite people without matching attire
• Have friends enter the reception together without formal titles

If You Skip the Bouquet Toss…

• Dedicate your bouquet to someone meaningful
• Give flowers to the couple married the longest
• Just… Keep dancing
• Create a flower bar for guests
• Press or preserve the bouquet after the big day

If You Skip the First Dance…

• Have a private dance before guests enter
• Invite everyone onto the floor after thirty seconds
• Open the dance floor with a favorite upbeat song
• Do a last dance alone after guests leave
• Share a song during dinner without making it a performance

If You Skip the Traditional Cake Cutting…

• Serve tiramisu, pie, ice cream, doughnuts, or a nostalgic family dessert
• Have a private cake cutting
• Bring out a late-night dessert cart
• Use a small cutting cake with a different dessert for guests
• Make dessert a part of the guest experience

How to Talk to Family About Skipping Wedding Traditions

Sometimes, older family members LOVE a good wedding tradition and just can’t fathom that your day isn’t going to be something that you could read in a 2004 wedding magazine. If you’re prepping to talk to your family about it, here are some tips that will hopefully give you some good luck: 

• Explain what you’re choosing, not just what you’re rejecting
• Share why it matters to you
• Give family members meaningful roles
• Set clear boundaries without over-explaining
• Don’t announce anything until your decisions are finalized

“We’re not doing a formal parent dance, but we would love to have a private moment together before dinner” will usually land better than “Parent dances are outdated and we hate them.” Same decision. Slightly less chance of turning Sunday dinner into a full production. Good luck!! 

What a Nontraditional Wedding Actually Feels Like

Imagine the inside of your brain coming to life, and that’s basically what your nontraditional wedding day can look like. Kinda campy, kinda eclectic, and hella intentional. Love that!! 

Maybe cocktails happen before the ceremony because you want to greet everyone as they arrive. Maybe you walk in together. Maybe dinner is one long table, the speeches happen during a welcome party, and your reception is basically three uninterrupted hours of dancing, fun cocktails, and your friends screaming every word to Beyoncé.

At the end of the day, your wedding feels so much smoother when you plan it in the way that you want it. You have more time to have fun, more time to be with your lover, and way more space to be yourself. The goal is not chaos; it’s a flow that makes sense for the way you actually want to spend the day. And isn’t that what your wedding day should be anyway, babes?? 

Nontraditional Chicago Wedding Ideas That Make Wedding Traditions Easier to Skip

If you need nontraditional wedding ideas… I’ve got ‘em. Here are some days like this that I’ve seen work really well:

• A restaurant wedding with cocktails before the ceremony
• A Chicago City Hall ceremony followed by dinner
• A bowling-alley reception – like Morgan and Sam’s
• A gallery ceremony with a cocktail-style layout
• A neighborhood bar buyout
• A wedding at a vintage or industrial venue
• A brunch wedding
• A ceremony and reception in one space to avoid transportation
• Portraits around the couple’s own neighborhood instead of downtown landmarks

Wren and Rose | Chicago Wedding Photographer

If you’re planning a day that feels less overly-polished and more authentic and grounded in meaning… You’re my kinda person. Let’s chat about what wedding traditions work for you and which ones to ditch when you inquire righttt here. 

Chat soon, loves!!